This is going to be neither eloquent nor insightful. In fact, it may seem lacking in thoughtful reflection. However, the truth is that my ability to articulate what I am thinking is all too often hindered and encumbered by too much thought.
First off...a quote:
"I've tried to find comfort in the Church's teachings, for I am a Christian and I believe in the way of the Lord. But it seems that I believe in something more, as well, and I no longer assume that one is the negation of the other. I suspect the forbidden religions had part of a secret we have lost, and as long as we refuse to admit its existence we are like blind men, shut off forever from the reality of our world."
- Brian Boru (Morgan Llywelyn, Lion of Ireland)
The question I cannot answer at the moment is:
Am I Christian?
I do not think that Jesus was divine. So by Christian standards, I do not think I am a Christian. I do not think that Bible is the 'word of God.' I do, however, think that God reveals Godself through the Bible. And yet, I think God reveals himself through other works as well. I have found God in a poem by Rumi, a novel entitled The Holy Man, and various other works - INCLUDING those of other faiths and those of people who claim they have no faith.
I also think that people are going to find that God reveals Godself in different ways and in different contexts. No two people are going to find God in the same place and in the same way.
Well is what I think different from what I believe? Are my faith and my thoughts based upon the same claims? I think that God exists. I have faith that God exists. This Jesus person - I think he lived in a historical time. I think he was a real person. I am just not so sure that I am willing to accept that he was divine without thinking it through for myself. That position also leads me to have problems with the Trinity. Too often people accept things handed down to them without question... and not just in Christianity. I for one would like to seriously reflect upon my theological convictions and figure out what I truly believe.
I know I am not saying anything that has never been said before. But that is not my intention. My intention is to process what I am thinking so that I might better understand where I stand, what I think, and what I believe.
My all time favorite quote is:
"Beware of confining yourself to a particular belief and denying all else, for much good would elude you - indeed, the knowledge of reality would elude you. Be in yourself a matter for all forms of belief, for God is too vast and tremendous to be restricted to one belief rather than another." - Ibn al 'Arabi (d. 1240).
I think that contemporary religious thought limits God. Christians declare that they believe in a God who is omniscient, omnipotent, immanent, and not confined or defined by human standards. And yet those very labels impose limitations. We say God is not limited, but we refuse to believe that God can reveal Godself through anything that runs contrary to our own creeds and suppositions. If God cannot be limited, then who are we to say in what form God chooses to reveal Godself?
Now, I know that there is a mystery in all of this. I am not meant to understand everything. I admit freely that I do not. I do not even want to for that matter. Some people might say that I want to pick and chooses what I believe in from each faith and that that denies the faith tradition. Well, frankly, the faith tradition is not my God. The culture is not my God. The society in which I live is not my God. My God is my God. My God is. Unlimited by restrictions and human constructs. It seems to me that in seeking to understand God more, we begin to distance ourselves from God. We develop a statement of belief and suddenly we are limiting God and our understanding of God to the claims made in that statement.
So now...am I Christian?
If so, I am not just a Christian.
I might not fit in...I might not be understood...I might anger some people...but I am what I am and there is no sense in denying that.
"All she knew was that there was more to the world than what could be perceived with the five senses and that she couldn't accept that Mystery as having its source in some power-hungry god whose church's creeds were based on denial of all secular matters, as though the beauty of this world was not a thing to be cherished for its own sake, but was rather a testing ground for how one would or would not be rewarded in the afterlife."
- Charles de Lint, Spiritwalk
